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Girlfriend, It's Ok To Get Help

 

Hey Gang and happy first Sunday of 2022!  I hope the New Year finds you in good health and good spirits!  In the spirit of self-care Sunday today we are going to talk about getting help with your mom duties.

 

I posted on my IG the other day about a mother who shared on her TikTok how she and her husband hired a doula to come in at night and take care of her newborn.  Her TikTok went viral and of course upset a lot of people who in turn gave their unsolicited feedback.  The first thing that popped up in my head was, are we so used to “struggle” that anything other than that is wrong?  In our culture why is it so unheard of to hire people to help take tasks off our lists so that we are able to better concentrate on our daily lives?  People were saying things like, “Why would she do that”, “What kind of mother would let a stranger care for their child”, “Why would they waste their money”, and the comments go on and on (insert my side eye).  Let’s see something, raise your hand if you’ve had children, suffered postpartum depression, suffered with anxiety and or some form of ADHD, were sleep deprived, had brain fog, overwhelmed with having a new little human who solely depended on you to survive, still had an entire household to also tend to, had little to no help with adjusting to motherhood.  

 

Now, we have to let go of thinking hiring help is a bad thing.  It’s NOT!  I wish I had the financial means to hire a doula, nanny and a housekeeper when I gave birth to my girls.  Struggling mentally and physically day to day to keep your house in order is not a good sign of being a good mother.  When you spread yourself thin what good are you to yourself or anyone else.  I can remember countless nights crying, falling asleep while breastfeeding, hair falling out due to stress, losing weight beyond what was normal because I was too tired to cook and eat.  How can you enjoy the beauty of being a new mom if you have to struggle with all of these things?  You can’t.  Let go of the “I have to do it all” mindset when it comes to motherhood, I will be the first to say I am not super woman, I can not do it all, and I need help.  Research and hire the right individuals who can come in and take some things off your plate.  I’m telling you now the minute I can afford to hire some people, I’m doing it ASAP!  I want to be able to focus on and enjoy myself more, and enjoy my kids more.  I applaud these parents for doing this for themselves and for their newborn.  Delegating tasks is a form of self-care, don’t spread yourself thin when you don’t have to.  

 

I’ll see y’all next Sunday and remember that I love y’all but most important love yourself first!

 

XO, Quita


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  • Erica on

    People should just mind their own homes and wallets. People should do what they feel is necessary to manage the postpartum phase. If I could have afforded my Doula’s postpartum rates, I certainly would have supported her because she was phenomenal. Great read. Thanks for sharing.

  • Cherisse on

    Normalize the finer things in life. Especially for black women. Thee end.


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